


Revelations of This Life

by Jekkah



Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent
Genre: F/M, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:23:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8358940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jekkah/pseuds/Jekkah
Summary: Bobby and Alex met a young girl on a case that changes their life forever. It's short (five chapters), quick, and sappy, but I hope you enjoy anyway!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: I want to do a quick one-shot and somehow, it evolved into a five-chapter fic. Maybe my muse is working up to a larger LOCI fic! That would be awesome! LOL! Anyway, I hope you enjoy my offering.

After ten years together, not counting the year that they kept in touch over e-mail, phone calls, and dinners, Alexandra Eames could not separate all of the emotions that she felt for her partner, Robert Goren. Sometimes, she loved him like a brother. Sometimes, she felt almost like a mother trying to watch out for her wayward son. Always a friend, even when she was furiously mad at him, which happened more often than she was comfortable with. Almost lover, but neither of them would ever risk taking that step, no matter how many drunken nights they shared together.

But all of those other emotions fell to the ground the moment Alex realized that she was in love with her partner. Ten years and all of sudden her heart and mind decide that she is in love with Bobby, wants Bobby, needs Bobby, and all because she entered a crime scene where her partner was cradling a tiny girl, no more than twenty months old, against his shoulder as he studied photographs, trying to get into the minds of both the victim and her husband.

It was a fairly open and shut case. The wife filed for divorce after discovering that the husband was cheating on her. He contested the divorce, but she pushed forward. Judge issues a divorce date, husband loses it and kills his wife, then himself. The only reason they were pulled onto the case was that the wife worked in the mayor's office. Still, they would go through all of the motions so that no thread was left dangling.

“Eames?” 

Alex blinked, surprised to find her partner standing in front of her, the baby still on his shoulder. “Uh, yeah?”

Bobby quirked his head to the side in an attempt to analyze why she was distracted. He quickly ascertained that she was giving off no clues. “Can you take Ruthie? I need to look at the… b-o-d-i-e-s.”

“Sure,” she agreed, though her heart sunk just a little. Ruth had been her grandmother's name and was the name she had picked out for her daughter since she was a young girl. Now, it appeared she would never have a chance to have that little girl.

“Ruthie,” Bobby coaxed, “this is my friend, Alex. She's going to stay with you for a bit, okay?”

“No,” Ruthie pouted. She wrapped her arms tightly around Bobby's neck. “No! No! No!”

Alex rubbed the girl's back. “Can you show me your room, Ruthie? I bet you have some really great toys there.”

Ruthie looked intrigued for a moment, but shook her head. “Stay. Bobby.”

“Sorry, Bobby,” Alex rubbed his arm, “looks like you're stuck baby-sitting. I'll go check out the b-o-d-i-e-s. I'll make sure they get lots of pictures for you.”

“Thanks,” he sighed.

Alex walked towards the murder scene. “Oh, and you might want to take Ruthie to her room; get her away from all this chaos and such.”

Walking into the parents' bedroom, Alex noticed that the woman, Penelope Walker, was near the door, as if she had been trying to flee. The gunshots to her back seemed to confirm this. The husband, Kevin Walker, lay spread out in the bed, the gun he had used to kill himself and his wife still in his left hand. Alex sent a silent prayer of thanks into the universe that Kevin had spared his daughter.

Alex was instructing the photographer on several shots when she heard a commotion coming from the room next door. She hurried there to find Bobby backing up to the back wall, Ruthie in his arms, as a social worker attempted to take the little girl. “What's going on here?”

“My name is Sophia Kendall. I'm with OCFS. I'm here to take Ruthie to a foster home,” the strict-looking woman informed Alex.

“I tried to explain to Ms. Kendall that Ruthie needs a little time,” Bobby told Alex as he patted Ruthie on the back. “She seems to think ripping Ruthie out of my arms is the way to go.”

Alex put her hands up between the two when Sophia opened her mouth to argue. “Okay, clearly this isn't going to get us anywhere.”

Bobby jumped in before Alex could continue. “What if I take her? I can become her foster parent.”

“That's not how this work,” Sophia countered. “You have to be approved. You can't just take a kid because you're a cop. Do you even have room for her?”

“She can take my room. I'll sleep on the couch.” He shrugged when he noticed Alex watching him with surprise.

Sophia sighed, impatiently. “She needs her own space.”

Turning to Alex, Bobby's eyes filled with frustration and need. Alex's heart broke a little. Before she realized what she was doing, she told Sophia, “I can take her. I have a spare room that's set up for my nieces and nephews already. She's a witness!” Alex said quickly when Sophia objected once again. “We haven't concluded what happened here and she may need protection.”

“I'll have to clear this with my boss,” Sophia finally relented. She stormed off with her phone in her hand.

“Alex,” Bobby exhaled, walking quickly to her, “thank you so much. I- I just couldn't picture her in a home with people that she doesn't know. Not after everything that she's been through.”

She placed her hand on Bobby's arm only to hurriedly move it when she felt a spark shot through her. Instead, Alex placed it on Ruthie's back. “It's not a problem. But it's only going to be for a few days at most. It's a pretty open and shut case.”

Bobby frowned. “At least, we can prepare her better.”

“I'm going to make a few calls; see if my sister is able to come and watch Ruthie during the day.” Alex stopped at the door. “Oh, and Bobby, you might want to stop at home and grab a few days of clothes at once instead of going back every day. Because if you think I'm doing this alone, you're out of your damn mind.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Yes, I understand, Captain,” Alex said to the phone on her shoulder as she put food away, “but it's such an easy case that a rookie could have handle it. Yes, I know. Ruthie, however, is very attached to Goren. Yes, even after a few hours.” She mock-hit her head against the counter. “Yes, sir, I know. We have it covered. We'll see you tomorrow. Thank you.”

Hanging up the phone, Alex released a deep breath. Her captain wasn't happy with either of them, but what could she do? Every time she thought of Bobby saying good-bye to Ruthie, her heart broke for both of them. She was sure, like Hannah, that this what a terrible idea and still, she didn't have it in her to separate the two yet. It was also a horrible idea to have Bobby in her apartment after her discovery earlier in the day, but she would just have to push through the best that she could.

Alex hurried to her front door when there was a knock. She found a bewildered Bobby holding a still clutching Ruthie in one hand and two suitcase bags in the other. Alex ushered them inside. “I talked to Hannah. He's given us the rest of the day off, but expects us bright and early tomorrow. I also talked to my sister and she said she would be happy to keep an eye on Ruthie over the next few days.”

“Thank you, Eames,” Bobby gushed, unable to maintain eye contact for longer than half a second. “I know you had to go to bat for me, both with the social worker and with Hannah. And you've opened your home to both of us. I-I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.”

“Don't think anything about it,” she assured him. “And you've already thanked me. We're partners; it's what we do.” Alex turned her attention to Ruthie, who was watching her curiously. “Would you like to go see your room?”

Ruthie looked between Bobby and Alex before slowly nodding. She held her arms to Alex, who took her gladly. “Bobby come, too?”

Alex smiled. “Yes, Bobby will come, too.”

She grabbed Bobby's hand when he hesitated and led the way to her spare room. Ruthie lit up when she saw all the stuffed animals on the bed. She wiggled until Alex put her down.

“Is she- is she going to be okay here?” Bobby questioned, his eyes studying every inch of the room. “Won't she, uh, roll right off the bed?”

“Nah.” Alex took a stuffed bear that Ruthie handed her, handing it back when Ruthie asked for it. “I have bed rails that we'll put up to keep her in the bed.” She laughed when she saw the uncertainty remaining on Bobby's face. “I promise, she'll be okay. Why don't you keep an eye on her while I finish putting grocery's away. I'm just making spaghetti tonight until we see what she likes and doesn't like.”

Alex returned to the room a little while later to find nothing but silence. She peaked inside to see Ruthie curled up on Bobby's chest. They were both fast asleep. For the umpteenth time that day, her heart pulled and her stomach tingled. She wanted nothing more to do than to snuggle in beside them. Mentally, Alex slapped herself. It would do no one, especially her partner nor herself, any good to get wrapped up in these loving emotions. So she was in love with her partner. It didn't change anything. After all, it wasn't as if he loved her back.

“Eames?” Bobby whispered. He awoke to see her standing in the doorway, a goofy smile on her face that turned into a sad frown.

“Sorry,” she muttered, careful to not wake Ruthie. “I was just coming to check on you guys. But it looks as if you have everything under control.”

Bobby shifted when she made to move. “Alex, wait.”

Alex turned, questions written all over her face. “Yeah?”

“Is something… wrong? Have I done something to upset, uh, upset you?” he inquired. “You've been distant all day.”

“No, Bobby, no,” she quickly assured him. “I'm sorry if I seem distant. It has nothing to do with you.” She sat gingerly on the bed. “Did I ever tell you that my grandmother's name was Ruth?”

Bobby raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “No, you haven't.”

Shrugging, Alex concentrated on the blanket. “I always wanted to name my daughter after her. I guess meeting Ruthie, having her here, is bringing up all sorts of feelings of regret.”

“Regret?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “Regrets about how my life turned out; wondering if I made the right choices. I'll never get a chance to be a mother.”

Bobby looked away. “Oh. It's not too late if you really-”

“I don't want to do it alone,” Alex interrupted. “And I'm not exactly in a relationship. Even if I found someone tomorrow that I would actually want to settle down with, by the time that… settling occurred, it would be too late.” She shook her head, trying to send away her melancholy. “Anyway, I didn't mean to put all of that on you. I'll be okay in a bit once I've had a chance to process everything.”

“For what it's worth,” Bobby told her, “I think you would make a wonderful mother. I'm sorry if you never get the chance.”

Alex grinned. “You should continue with that nap. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night.”


	3. Chapter 3

“I'm going to get you, Ruthie!” Bobby called out. He chased the toddler down the hall, a silly grin on his face. Ruthie chuckled loudly as she hid behind Alex's legs.

“No get! No get Ruthie!” Ruthie yelled. “Get A-lex!”

A naughty twinkle entered his eye. “You want me to get Alex?”

Ruthie's head bobbed up and down. “Yea! Yea!”

“Okay!” Bobby reached down and grabbed Alex by the waist, throwing her over his shoulder. He looked at Ruthie, even as Alex laughingly pounded him on the back, calling out his name. “Where should we put her?”

“Couch! Couch!”

Bobby headed there, but didn't put her down. “And what should we do with her?”

Holding up her hands, Ruthie scrunched her fingers. “Tickle.”

“Tickle her? Are you sure?” Ruthie bobbed up and down, excitedly. “Okay, you're the boss.”

“Bobby, I swear if you tickle me!” Alex never got to finish her threat as Bobby placed her on the couch and he and Ruthie immediately began to tickle her. She rapidly reached the point where she could scarcely breathe. Using all of her strength, and a distracted Bobby, she flipped him so that he landed on his back on the other end of the couch. Alex hovered over him, hands poised at his hides. “Come on, Ruthie. Girl power!”

Ruthie pounced on Goren, her brown eyes shining. “Grul power!”

Bobby squirmed as they tickled him. He tried to sit up, but found he was unable to without dislodging Alex and he didn't want to risk her falling and hurting herself. After a few minutes, he finally grabbed a hold of her arms, pulling her to his chest to stop the assault. They stared at each other, panting. Ruthie grew bored once playtime was over and wandered over to the stack of stuffed animals that Alex had brought out for her.

“You don't play fair,” Bobby told Alex, his hands remaining on her arms. His fingers burned her skin where they touched.

“Says the man who started this by picking me up.”

Goren blushed. “I'd apologize, but, well, it got us here.”

Alex's mouth hung open, scarcely able to believe he had said that. Maybe she wasn't as alone as she thought in her feelings. “Bobby! I...”

“Sorry,” he told her, sheepishly. His face turned beet red, but he still didn't release her. Slowly, his face inched towards her. 

Alex could feel his breath on her lips when Ruthie popped up beside them and said, “Hi! Go see Mama now?”

They sprung apart from each other, unable to look each other in the eye. Alex scrambled to the chair while Bobby ran his hands through his hair. She attempted to convince herself that they hadn't just kissed. Ruthie giggled at them both.

“Go see Mama?” Ruthie repeated after a few moments. “Go see?”

“Alex?” Bobby looked at her, helplessly, but she could only shrug. She wasn't sure what to do anymore than he was. “Ruthie, we… we can't go see Mama right now.”

Ruthie tilted her head to study him. “Mama sleeping. Mama no wake.”

He gathered her in his arms, holding her tightly. “I know. Your mama wouldn't wake up. But it's okay because you have me and you have Alex and we're going to make sure that you're okay.”

“Daddy yell,” Ruthie continued, her hand winding its way into his graying locks. “Daddy mean. Ruthie hide from Daddy. Mama no wake.”

Bobby rocked her, gently. “You did a good job hiding. A very good job. Daddy will never yell again. He'll never be mean.” He sighed almost painfully. “You are going to stay with Bobby and Alex for awhile, okay? We're going to make sure that you're okay.”

“I'm going to start dinner,” Alex announced, standing up before her emotions got the better of her.

“No! No go, A-lex!” Ruthie screamed. She wiggled down from Bobby and ran over to Alex, throwing herself around Alex's legs. “No go! No go!”

Alex pulled her into her arms, squeezing her close to her chest. She was becoming attached and she knew it as much as she had fought against it. “I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to make dinner.”

Ruthie looked up from her place on Alex's shoulder. “Grul power? Ruthie go?”

“You want to help me make dinner?”

“Yeah. Help dinner.” She nodded enthusiastically. 

Kissing the top of Ruthie's head, Alex agreed. “Of course, you can.”

Ruthie turned to the man in the room. “Bobby come.” It was an order not a request.

“I guess I'm helping, too,” Bobby remarked, pushing himself from the couch.

“I've seen your cooking, Bobby,” Alex told him with a teasing tone, leading them into the kitchen. “You make the biggest mess in the world and I am so not cleaning up. You can boil the water.”

Bobby pretended to be offended. “I certainly don't see you turning your head away from my meals, no matter what the mess in the kitchen is.”

Alex leaned in close to him. “That's because what you make is always delicious.” She released a long breath of slow air when she realized just how close they were. “Here, take the kid. I'll get the spaghetti started.”


	4. Chapter 4

“She's asleep,” Bobby announced, strutting into the living room. He sat smugly on the couch near Alex. “And you said it would take awhile.”

“Keep it up, jackass,” Alex growled, her eyes shifting towards him. “We'll see how the rest of the night goes.”

Bobby waggled his eyebrows. “Does that mean I can get a reward if I'm right?”

For the second time that night, Alex's jaw dropped and she was near speechless. “What is going on with you tonight?”

“I'm sorry.” He sobered and shifted away from her. “I- I guess I've been living out some fantasy with you and Ruthie.”

“Fantasy?” she repeated.

Bobby hung his head in shame, fiddling with his hands. “Yeah, you know, wife and kid; a family. It's even what I used to dream about before I realized that it was too late for that.”

Alex turned to face him. She waited for a moment for him to look at her before speaking. “Why do you think it's too late?”

“Come on, Alex.” He rolled his eyes, hard. “Look at me. Look at my life. Who would want me?”

“People,” Alex cleared her throat and placed a hand on his knee, “people will want you. You're a great guy, Bobby. An- any woman could see that.”

“Any?” he croaked out.

Alex swallowed and nodded. The air flared with electricity as they once again found themselves drawn to each other. Alex's heart beat fast. For once, she decided that she wasn't going to back down, turn away from whatever was going on between the two of them.

“Mama!” Ruthie screeched from Alex's spare room. “Mama! Mama!”

In a flash, both Bobby and Alex were off the couch and down the hall. Bobby reached the door first, flinging it open. Ruthie was thrashing in the middle of the bed, crying in her sleep. He attempted to pick her up, but she flailed, wildly, hitting him again and again.

“Wait,” Alex ordered, softly. She sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on Ruthie's foot. “Ruthie. Ruthie, sweetheart, wake up. Wake up. It's Alex. You're safe. Wake up.”

“A-lex!” Ruthie cried out, coming into consciousness. She opened her eyes and threw herself into Alex's arms. “Mama gone! Mama no come back.”

Alex rubbed her back. “I know, baby. Your mama is gone.”

“Sleep with A-lex?” Ruthie asked, staring into Alex's face.

“Of course.” Alex hugged her. “Of course, you can.”

Ruthie wrapped her legs Alex as Alex stood. “Bobby come, too?”

Alex held her hand out to Bobby. “Yes, Bobby will come, too.”

“Alex,” he said, uncertainly, glancing between her face and the rest of the room.

“Trust me.” Her voice was soft, trusting. She wrapped her tiny fingers around his bigger ones. “She'll never sleep otherwise.”

Reluctantly, Bobby allowed her to lead him down to her room. It smelled of Alex. She turned the moment they were all inside and handed Ruthie to him. “I'm going to change. Can you get her settle in the bed?”

It didn't take Alex long to get through her bedtime routine. She switched out with Bobby and lay on the bed, Ruthie cradling into her. By the time he returned, Ruthie was sleep and Alex had relaxed into a convincing facsimile. Bobby hesitated, standing over the two females.

“Get in here,” Alex ordered, slightly opening one eye. “She'll never trust you if she finds out that you went to sleep in the spare room.”

“Okay, okay,” he reluctantly agreed, slipping into bed. He shifted repeatedly until a loud sigh Alex caused him to settle. “Sorry.”

Alex was certain that it would take her half the night to get any sleep. She was surprised to find when she glanced at the clock a few hours later that it was nearly three in the morning. Turning her head back around, she tried to figure out what had caused her to awaken. It was then that she heard a small sob. Instinctively, Alex looked at toddler in her bed, who had moved from her arms to stretch between the two adults, her head against the middle of Bobby's back, one hand hanging over him and the other against her mouth. Ruthie's feet lay across Alex's stomach. She was fast asleep and Alex realized that it was Bobby who was crying.

“Bobby?” Alex whispered. She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. His stiffening let her know that he was awake and not trapped in a dream. “Bobby, are you okay? Please talk to me.” He curled more into himself and she let out a begging plea. “Please?”

“This,” he sniffled and she almost cried in relief that he was talking, “is everything that I've ever wanted.”

Alex tightened her grip. “What is?”

Bobby ran his hand through his hair. “This. You and Ruthie; this life. It's all… It's my dream and I realized that I'm never going to have that.”

“Why… do you think you'll never have it?” she asked, her voice remaining low.

“Because you don't love me.” Alex let out a sharp gasp at his confession. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Can we just forget that I said that?”

“No.” She pulled herself into a sitting position, careful to not disturb Ruthie. “I can't forget it. I won't forget it. Because I do love you.”

Bobby bolted upward causing Ruthie to whimper in her sleep. She shifted to a more comfortable position before falling back into a deep sleep. “You can't be… you can't lo- Why?”

Alex giggled in spite of herself. “I don't know when it happened, but I know it hit me today the first time that I saw you holding Ruthie against your shoulder. I realized that you were it for me, that no one else in the universe could compare. I want this, too, Bobby, with you.”

“Even if it means giving up our working partnership?”

“Yes.”

“Even if it means putting up with all my crazy?”

“I love your crazy. Your crazy is my kind of crazy.”

“Even if-”

“Yes, Bobby,” Alex interrupted, forcefully. “I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. There is nothing that you can say to make me change my mind.” Bobby groaned. “What? What could possibly be wrong now?”

He looked over and grinned at her. “Of all the times to tell me, you have to tell me when there's a baby in between us and I can't ravish you.”

She laughed. “I didn't start this conversation; you did.”

“I'm going to want to marry you,” Bobby said, quietly, after they had calmed down. “Soon. And I'm going to want to see if we can have babies.”

“I want Ruthie,” Alex told him, definitively. “She doesn't have any family left; we can be her family.”

Bobby touched Ruthie's hair. “Yes, we can. Alex… I love you.”

Grinning, she leaned over Ruthie and kissed him, gently. “I love you, too.”

Ruthie's screams from another nightmare brought them back to reality.


	5. Chapter 5

EPILOGUE, ONE YEAR LATER:

“Bobby!” Alex called out, carrying a plate of deviled eggs. “Bobby, grab her!”

Bobby looked up from his station at the grill to see his newly officially adopted daughter making a beeline for him. He stepped forward and snatched her into his arms before she could reach the grill. “Are you driving your mother crazy?”

Ruthie nodded and giggled. “Driving Mommy crazy.”

“Not like that's hard to do lately,” Alex muttered, slipping passed them to place the plate on picnic table. She gestured to her stomach. “If this kid doesn't come out soon, you're going to have to lock me up in the loony bin.”

“You're not due for another two and a half weeks,” Bobby replied, calmly.

She huffed. “Aren't older mothers supposed to have their babies earlier?”

Bobby chuckled. “You are clearly special.”

“I'm going to show you special, buddy. I don't know why I ever agreed to this in the first place.” She turned away. “You get to be pregnant for the next one!”

“You see that, Ruthie?” Bobby said to the little girl watching them with a silly smile on her face. “Mommy is already talking about getting you another baby. Would you like two babies?”

Ruthie clapped. “Please, Mommy! Two babies, please!”

Alex pinched her nose. “I am going to kill you, Robert Goren!”

“I love you, Alex Eames-Goren,” he countered.

“I love you, too, you big jerk.”

Ruthie gasped. “No bad names, Mommy!”

Alex sighed. “Sorry, baby. Sorry, Bobby.”

“Ruthie, your cousins should be here soon,” Bobby told her, putting her on the ground. “Why don't you go look out the living room window and wait for them?”

“Yay!” she shouted, running off. She loved every one of her cousins ferociously.

Bobby stood behind his wife, rubbing her lower back. “I wish I could help you in some way, but I want you to know how incredibly honored I am that you are the mother of my children.”

Alex leaned her head back against his shoulder. “Don't say sweet things when I'm being ridiculous.”

“You're not being ridiculous. You're nearly thirty-seven weeks pregnant. You deserve all of the sweet things in the world.”

“If this baby is half as sweet as his daddy, then he will be the sweetest baby in the world.” She moaned blissfully as he hit her sweet spot.

Bobby kissed her neck. “Now, who's saying all the sweet things?”

Ruthie raced to the backyard. “They're here! Mommy, Daddy, Nate-Nate is here!”

“To be continued later,” Bobby promised, giving her another quick kiss.

“Bobby?” Alex called, causing him to stop from his journey following their daughter back into the house. “Thank you… for this life.”

He ducked his head. “Thank you… for wanting it.”

 

THE END


End file.
